Belonging
We all need people outside our families we can be our true selves with – people who accept us for who we are, share our values and experiences, and enjoy similar interests. Our friends are the people we share joy with, find comfort in, and confide our deepest thoughts and secrets in. Whether they’re neighbours, coworkers, or peers, friendships are mutual and chosen.
Friendships are so important for our personal growth, emotional support, and independence. They enrich our lives in so many ways and give us a sense of belonging. People should be supported not only in maintaining the friendships they already have, but also in finding new communities where they can meet others who value their strengths and share their interests. It’s important to facilitate opportunities for people to build friendships with a variety of people, to broaden their social networks and deepen their sense of connection to the community.
Paid supports can’t replace true friendship, but they play an influential role in supporting people to connect with others. You can help others get to know the people you support in meaningful ways, fostering relationships based on mutual respect.
Everyone deserves someone they can call when they have something exciting to share or when they’ve had a bad day. Through intentional support, people can develop and nurture these relationships.
This support can involve modeling the skills needed to build strong, healthy friendships, so in here you’ll find resources that focus on the 10 Skills of LikeAbility, reciprocity, maintaining relationships and establishing boundaries.
Check Out These Real-Life Friendship Stories
Sometimes the best way to learn about friendship is through the stories of others. These videos, created by people with disabilities, offer a firsthand look at how to make and maintain friendships, as well as what true connection and fun look like. One video focuses on how to build friendships from the ground up, while the other features a couple of friends simply hanging out, laughing, and enjoying each other’s company. These videos serve as a reminder of the joy and possibilities that come with building strong, meaningful relationships. Take a moment to watch, and be inspired by what’s possible when we support each other in creating real connections!
Tips for Building Friendships: Keep it Real, Keep it Fun
Be Yourself (Seriously, No Masks)
You know how you meet people, and it just clicks? That happens when you show up as you are. No need to be perfect. Whether you’re weirdly into Star Wars or can recite every lyric in the Talking Heads second album, embrace your quirks. You don’t need to “fit in” to make friends – you just need to be real.
Hang Where the Vibes Match
Friendship isn’t about forcing things. It’s about finding places, spaces, and events where you feel like you belong. Into punk music? Find your local dive bar, the underground gigs, or art shows where people get it. Into knitting? There’s probably a cozy group for that too! (Maybe throw in some rock ‘n roll for fun.) People are everywhere, and they’re probably just as interested in meeting someone like you as you are in meeting them.
Ask the Weird Questions
When you meet new people, ask questions that actually matter – not just the standard “What do you do?” stuff. Get weird. “What’s your most useless superpower?” or “If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what’s it gonna be?” People are drawn to others who genuinely want to know them beyond the surface level.
Go Where People Are, Not Just Where You’re Comfortable
You know how you meet someone new at a concert or a BBQ? That could be you, helping someone get out there and meet others. It’s not about shoving people into a “program” – it’s about getting out there and doing the things you love, where other people are already gathering. A local event, a meetup group, even just volunteering at a community garden. It’s about living your life, not forcing someone into yours.
Be a “Yes” Person (Sometimes)
No one ever made a friend sitting at home all day. Of course, take care of yourself, but say yes to things when you can. A spontaneous trip to a new café? Yes! An invite to that random game night? Yes! That’s how you stumble upon cool connections. Not every invite will work out, but the more you’re open to things, the more you might meet someone who shares your vibe.
Start Small, Build Big
Friendships don’t happen overnight – sometimes it’s just about saying “hi” to the person who works in the same building or being open to a quick chat with the person in the park. Maybe it’s just a text asking how their day is. Friendships are like plants – you start with a little seed and water it with time, care, and attention. It’s OK if it feels awkward at first – that’s part of the process!
Be There When It Counts
Friendships are about showing up for people. Not just for the fun times, but when they need it most. Offering to run an errand, being the one to help them move (even if you hate lifting boxes), or just being that supportive ear when they’re down. It’s not about grand gestures – it’s about being there, consistently. Trust is everything.
Share What You Love (Don’t Hold Back)
Got a thing you’re passionate about? Whether it’s cooking, hiking, crafting, or just binge-watching reality TV, share it with others. You never know who might share that same passion – and suddenly, you’ve got a new best friend. Sharing a love for something gives you a common bond that’s impossible to beat.
Make it a Two-Way Street
A friendship is a mutual thing. Don’t just wait for the other person to reach out – make sure you’re showing interest and putting effort in too. It’s not a one-way relationship. Whether it’s remembering their favorite drink or texting them about something that made you think of them, it’s about being invested in each other’s lives.
Don’t Overthink It
Friends aren’t a project, they’re not a checklist, and they definitely don’t come with a manual. Don’t get bogged down by “what ifs” or “shoulds.” Just go for it. Put yourself out there and see what happens. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and it won’t always be easy – but friendship is always worth it.
Supporting Friendship-Building with the 10 Skills of LikeAbility
Friendships are built on mutual respect and understanding, and for people we support, developing the LikeAbility skills—reciprocity, trust, thoughtfulness, approachability, responsibility, assertion, negotiation, sharing, manners, and humor—can be key in forming meaningful connections. These skills help people meet and engage with others in a way that builds trust, invites new relationships, and fosters positive social interactions. By nurturing these skills, we empower people to strengthen existing friendships and open doors to new ones, creating a sense of belonging and community.
Download the 10 Skills of LikeAbility
Helpful Extras
The Accessible Stall – Podcast hosted by Kyle Khachadurian and Emily Ladau that keeps it real about issues within the disability community.
Friends and Relationships – comprehensive resources developed in partnership with self-advocates. Videos exploring friendships, relationships, gender identity, and challenges – ConnectAbility
Friends, Connecting people with disabilities and community members – Dr. Angela Novak Amado, PhD.
Fun & Recreation – Leading Practice Guidelines, Abilities Manitoba