The power of knowing and being known

Getting to know someone us the foundation of everything we do. It’s not just gathering information – it’s about building meaningful relationships that empower people to thrive. When we take the time to deeply understand someone’s strengths, interests, and dreams, they can open doors to opportunities that align with their goals. Knowing people is the first step to supporting them to fully participate in the life of their community, and find the place where they are valued for their contributions.

Building trust, listening with empathy, and adapting support to meet the unique needs of each individual are key to this process. By focusing on a person-centered approach, we not only help people identify what they need but also uncover what they truly want in their lives. This journey of discovery is ongoing, and as relationships grow, support teams have the opportunity to facilitate meaningful connections with others who will help the person achieve their goals.

In this section, we focus on how support staff can actively engage with people to understand their strengths, aspirations, and preferences, and then connect them to the resources and relationships that will help them succeed. Through these deep connections, individuals are empowered to shape their own paths, find a sense of belonging, and become active participants in their communities.

​Having meaningful conversations: Going deeper with open questions

Ask open-ended questions

Instead of yes/no questions, try asking questions that invite people to share their stories, opinions, preferences, hopes and dreams:

  • “What’s something you’ve done in the past that you’re proud of?”
  • “What’s something you’ve always dreamed of doing?”
  • “If you could go anywhere or do anything, what would it be?”

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Listen to understand, not to respond

Let the person share their thoughts without interrupting. Show you’re listening by getting comfortable, being present, giving them your full attention, nodding, and even repeating things back. This makes people feel heard and encourages them to share more.

Everyone has a voice. Everyone deserves to be heard.

Communication comes in many forms and every person has the right to express themselves, share their thoughts and be taken seriously. Listening isn’t just about hearing words. It’s about valuing the person, understanding their perspective, and responding with respect. You are supporting people with real ideas, opinions and dreams. Listening means making space for their voice to be central in every conversation.

Explore their interests

Dig into what makes them tick! People love to talk about things that excite them. You can gain insight into their gifts, strengths, and talents, where they feel most confident, and areas where they may want to grow or explore.

  • “What’s something you love doing that you could do every day?”
  • “If you could have the perfect day, what would it look like. What would you do?”
  • “Is there something you’ve always wanted to learn or try?”
  • “If you could teach something to others, what would it be?”

Ask follow-up questions

Listen carefully to what they share, and invite them to elaborate. This will give you insight into what motivates them, brings them joy, and the challenges they face. Pay attention to ways you can support them in pursuing their interests and goals, and help them explore how they might share these with others.

  • “What made you start doing that?”
  • “How does that activity make you feel?”
  • “Have you ever surprised yourself by doing something you didn’t think you could do?”
  • “Who in your life has inspired you?”
  • “What makes you want to keep doing it?”
  • “What makes you feel proud about the activity or experience?”

Get to know who’s important to them

Deepen your understanding of their social circle, relationships, and connections. Learn what has helped shape them and insights into how you can support them to connect with others and access social capital.

  • “Who’s someone who’s had a big impact on your life?”
  • “Who in your life do feel closest to, and why?”
  • “Who do you ask for advice when making big decisions?”
  • “Who do you talk to about your dreams and goals?”
  • “Who do you call when you’ve had a bad day?”

Pay attention to communication styles

Everyone communicates differently. Some people are more visual, others use words, some prefer to write and some people use their body language. Being mindful of these cues, can give you important context to what is being said. By understanding their style, you can make it easier for others to connect with them too.

  • Pay attention to non-verbal cues – some people express themselves through gestures, facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice.
  • Give space for silence – some people need some time to absorb and process.
  • Watch for communication preferences – some people are more visual, some use words, and others prefer to write.
  • Be flexible and adapt – if people are visual use pictures or symbols to help explain ideas.

Be curious

Approach every conversation with curiosity. Avoid making assumptions. Ask more to understand their perspective. People share more when they feel accepted for who they are.

Share about yourself too

Conversations should be a two-way street! Share something about yourself to encourage openness and build trust. It’s also a great way to practice conversation skills and reciprocity!

​Helpful Extras

Inclusion Matters – Advocates Incorporated – a podcast featuring stories from people with disabilities, families, Mentors who are making a difference in the Advocates community.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: The Danger of a Single Story – Novelist Chimamanda Adichie tells her story in this TED video and warns that if we hear only one story about a person, we risk misunderstanding.

​Active Listening Self Assessment – Having strong listening skills is essential for fostering collaboration, showing empathy and developing good relationships. Take this self assessment to see where you’re at.